Note to self.. I Love You!

"Loving yourself has nothing to do with being selfish, self-centered or self-engrossed. It means that you accept yourself for what you are. Loving yourself means that you accept responsibility for your own development, growth and happiness. When you love yourself, you pave the way for all you want and need to come to you at the right time in the perfect way.The most accurate measure of our worth is how much we value ourselves. When we value who we are, we are sure to draw to us others who value us as much. We cannot convince others how wonderful and marvelous we are if we do not believe it."

I'm embarking on a mission - finding ways to love myself and fall madly in love with - ME.  Sound crazy? Egotistical? Self absorbent?  Self centered?  As I sit here recovering from toe surgery (thanks to my parents I had a toe that was too long, and I say "was" because part of the toe surgery was to shorten the bone) I have a week to keep my foot up and under ice and spend a lot of time thinking - demystifying the mystery of yours truly.  Not an easy task at all - hell, half the time I can't even figure myself out and why I do the things I do.  I've been told I'm self destructive.  Absolutely.  

Side note - the boyfriend just called - (2nd time today - and I'm going to call him the boyfriend (BF) for no other reason than he refuses to say I'm his girlfriend - LOL) to check on me and get a report of what the doctor said today at my checkup. He asked me if I needed anything - he was actually going to drive up here if I needed him.  How sweet.  I just may keep him.  

I think I'm going to start a love affair - with myself. I've finished my toe exercises for today and since it's late, I'm going to go to bed and get a good night's sleep. I can sleep in tomorrow (and I think I will) followed by whatever my little heart desires (with limited mobility).  On the agenda is watching movies, reading, (toe exercises are unavoidable) but I will also spend some time pampering myself (facial, relaxing bath (foot extended out of the water since I can't get the stitches wet), definitely some meditation, yummy nutritious food and if the weather is warm enough, sitting outside on my balcony in the sun).  I think I will also make a list of the top five things that I absolutely love about me and what makes me smile. 

My very first task will be to stop seeking approval from other people. At my age - I really should care less what people think. I've noticed over the past few months that if I don't actually show people (like the BF) who the real me is, not only will I not be living as my true self but I will be deceiving him and other people I meet.  If he can't handle the fact that at times I laugh at the most random shit, or that I times I have a potty mouth, or that I like to LIVE and do other things besides watch TV then he's not the one for me.  When my toe is fully healed it's balls to the wall baby - you can either hang with me or I'll  catch you on some down time.  Life is too short not to live it fully.  It's time that I stop hiding - me.   Ready or not - HERE I COME!!!